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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is depressing. Seems like most adult relationships with parents here are one sided with the benefit going towards the "child". I am supposed to just listen and not speak in our conversations, pay 100% for everything if I want to see them, give financially towards all their adult milestones and be a free babysitter when they deem me worthy to watch their kids. Don't call too much or too little, don't visit too much or too little, don't try too hard to have a relationship with DIL/SIL because that makes you needy and be ok with them not reciprocating and never have any expectations of being called, visited, or acknowledged for being used to provide whatever they needed... This sounds like a miserable way to spend your later years after putting your children first for 20+ years of their life and they can't reciprocate even simple things. [/quote]

I see it differently. I don't mind not giving advice unless asked. I am happy to make life a little easier by paying for and providing meals when they visit and helping with major expenses as long as they are gainfully employed and responsibly. I can't wait to babysit grandchildren if I am lucky enough to have them! You have to allow them to fly and be independent and go through phases of pushing the limit by calling even less and not wanting to visit as much, just like if a friend needs space, you give them that, but you hope they want to come back and don't just feel obligated. I assume they will reciprocate and show gratitude now and then (mine aren't adults yet), but I just don't feel entitled and when I get reciprocation these days with teens, I feel grateful. It's all about how you look at it. Try a different approach and you won't be so unhappy. [/quote]

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