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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s the process I’m concerned about. Your father was not alert it seems. Mine is. That’s my concern. [/quote]

RN here.  This seems to be a good question to ask their care team.   They will be in hospice if they aren't already.  They will be kept comfortable.   They will be given meds so they aren't suffering until they pass.  [/quote]

Not in hospice yet, still in ICU. thank you for answering [/quote]
Hospice is a kind of care, not a place or one organization. Ask every nurse and every CNA, every contact you have which hospice providers they like and why. You will probably get a consensus of two or three depending on if you’re in a major metro. Interview them. Choose a provider that shows compassion, it should feel like you are working with very caring people.

Once your mother is accepted for hospice care, her treatment will be focused on her comfort rather than on extending her life. Once a patient chooses to stop eating and drinking, they will usually go within 3-4 days, but it can be much shorter or longer. I have seen one day and I have seen ten. Your mom will be given anti-anxiety and pain medication as she needs it. The hospice service will direct and provide more of her care. They will also help you take care of arrangements when she dies. We had to have a coroner’s inquest for my grandmother and the hospice service was a great support.

Your mom should be comfortable and peaceful. She will slip into unconsciousness eventually and the time will come to say goodbye. The hospice service and the workers at whatever facility she stays in will help you understand what is happening.

I know this is very hard. The best thing you can do is honor your mom’s wishes and find a good hospice provider. I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing now. [/quote]

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