Reply to Four-year-old mean girl -- wwyd?

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Reply to "Four-year-old mean girl -- wwyd?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I would perhaps give it another shot, but would structure the experience to be successful.  First, i would do it at a park outdoors if possible.  Most kids understand that a park is for everyone.  Second, I would bring something that is a good do at your own pace toy like sidewalk chalk.  You can do something fun like write the kids names, or draw a hopscotch, or just all sit down.  One thing i do at a park, is play a fun game with my child and the natural fun draws other kids in - but it has to be something that encourages cooperative play like "chase mommy" or some other simple activity where the kids are not directly competing with each other but get more of your attention if they cooperate.  In other words, build in natural incentives to cooperative behavior.

That said, I would not invest in this kiddo, but would rather use it as an opportunity to see if you can figure out simple ways to create a positive environment.  Becuase while you hope to find a better playmate, as your child blossoms, you will be having more weekend social interactions, and it never hurts to start learning little tricks that can help.  You can learn how to set expectations in a low key manner so that creating a good environment for play becomes second nature.  That does not mean you take over - but you get them into the grove of appropriate play and then back away once they get the rhymm down.

Also, as prior posters said, use good language.  Sometimes, at the start of playdates, i just articulate the rules and ask both kids to sign on board - make good choices, say please and thank you, hands and feet to yourself, share x/y/z.  Four is little and some kids need clear expectations set at the beginning.  if you set expectations and the child does not self correct when you remind her - gently "remember, we share the swing" - you can simply end the playdate early.  Another good term is to say - "if you are not sharing, you are telling me you are not ready to have this playdate.  and taht is ok, sometimes we are not ready and need more time at home."   And don't feel bad about telling the other parents in a kind way - just say - "susie was having a hard time sharing, so that was telling me that she was not ready for the playdate today."

good luck. [/quote]

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