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[quote=Anonymous]This is all normal spending.  She sound like a reasonable educated woman, so here's my suggestion:

Come to an agreement with long term budgeting and what it will take to get there, i.e., do you want to save for a vacation home? College? Home upgrade? Car?

How much do you need to save given the stock market uncertainty to get there in yourtimeliness?

Then let her control the finances and track progress.

I'm a woman and, trust me, once I had my sights set on putting a ski condo in each of my kids' trusts - our spending on stuff like extra clothes, manicures, skin care, and hair cut came waaaaay down.  I learned to do my own nails, I don't get massages unless it's a special occasion that I save for, I get the kids' hair cut at Ulta and only cut my hair 2x/yr.  I dye/gloss my own hair now.  I buy most clothes on extreme sale and am very picky.  I only get skin care through my dermatologist, so it's subsidized by insurance.  My standards haven't dropped, and I put a lot of effort into saving.  I still spend too much on coffee, but it's not that much in the grand plan.  We joined a health club (family membership) where kids activities are reasonably priced, so the total cost of these things came down, i.e., no individual memberships and its MUCH nicer and provides social outlets as well.

Basically, put her in the driver's seat and you'll be surprised with the outcome.  My husband is shocked by all the changes I've made to save money.  We have a much better quality of life and have a condo to pass to each of the kids.  We are in our late 40s and have been on this path for a while now.[/quote]

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