Reply to Blended Family Expenses

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is the stepchild carrying a full courseload? Obviously they are supposed to be studying and writing papers in addition to in-class time. If they are a part-time student that's different.

It's all too common for second wives to not understand what expenses are age-appropriate for older teens and young adults. Housing etc really is horribly expensive. Be sure your perceptions are accurate. It's not realistic to expect the child to earn enough for living expenses while also carrying a full courseload, especially if they are in an expensive area.[/quote]

Correct; however, the discussion of giving money to a 22-year-old comes after he's covered his share of his living expenses and his minor children's expenses.  After he and OP have met those expenses, they can discuss how they each want to prioritize the excess.  For example, let's assume they each make $60k after taxes.  Their families' living expenses and minor, dependent child expenses total $100k.  They each contribute $50k.  With the remaining $20k, he can give his adult daughter $10k adult daughter, and OP can funder her 401k or the younger kids' 529 plans with her $10k or perhaps send money to aging parents who are struggling to get by, whatever.  In traditional marriages, this kind of bean counting would be unnecessarily exhausting, but in blended families, you may have to create a structure that is deemed fair by both or the resentment from the spouse who feels wronged will destroy the marriage.  [/quote]

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