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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, look at her actions. She prefers to hang out with your sister and her family. She doesn't make the effort to visit you or your family. Knowing that, accept these are the choices she makes year after year, and make your own choices. Still visit her? Meet in a third location? What isn't going to change anything is you spelling out how her behavior is hurtful to you. But consider that you might feel better saying it.[/quote] good points. She has been here before. She isn't allergic. But she simply doesn't enjoy all the activities we do. We go to the lake - a lot, we shop, eat, play cards. I want her to know why we're stepping back so I'll tell her. [/quote] Something to consider - you are upset bc your Mom doesn’t share the same values as you. Rather than punish her for it, consider how to do things together that balance both sides perspective. Maybe tell her you want to see her more often (and want her to see your kids) and ask how you can both compromise to make that happen. My mIL and SIL are very hurt that we don’t visit them more often. They typically come to us and we do all the hosting bc we have the space. If we visit them, we need a hotel. We have done lots of trips together where we pay for the majority of the trip for them. We spend plenty of time with them. They still complain we don’t come to them. We have different priorities and commitments bc we are at very different stages of life. We do come to them but not as often as they would like. It is what it is. [/quote]
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