Reply to Narcissists who are very good at "therapy speak"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You report them to HR for harassment and creating a hostile work environment. This has nothing to do with narcissism. It's harassment, pure and simple.[/quote]

No HR and of the two people at the company that you would generally bring this kind of interpersonal issue to she is one of them and the other one is her close friend and roommate.[/quote]

Then you find a new job. This place is toxic. I'm sorry. [/quote]

You are probably right but I'm pretty sad about it.[/quote]

NP.  No, no, no, you don't have to get another job.  I empathize with you that what she did is incredibly frustrating (my chest got tight just reading about it!), but the good news is, no one -- NO ONE -- cares as much as you do.  Absolutely no one will give her comments another thought.  Their impression of you will be based on their interactions with you.  And if they don't interact with you, their opinions hardly matter anyway.  If you gray-rock and offer zero drama, no one will have a bad impression of you.[/quote]

OP here and I've been reading on grey-rocking and agree this is a good approach for triaging this situation especially since my immediate supervisor does not seem to be taking it seriously (either what this woman said about me or the fact that I am very bothered by it) and I have no HR to turn to.

But I don't think I can survive in a workplace like this. I do think this woman is an instigator and at the heart of a lot of the toxicity here but I am also bothered by the way people just seem to accept it and in some cases may play into it and participate (I'm not going to get into how I learned of what she'd been saying but that was unprofessional too -- people socialize a lot after work and there's a lot of drinking and I think many people here are both very gossipy and very indiscrete). I just don't want to have to deal with this kind of environment even if I do really love the actual work I do. Also I am not sure how the grey-rocking is going to go. I feel like I already get penalized here for not being as social as others are and I think being less emotive will just worsen that. But we'll see.[/quote]

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