Reply to How often do you take your teen's phone

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Never. 14 and 16. I used to do screen time limits but honestly both of my kids socialize constantly in person so I don’t feel the need anymore for time limits and the bedtime limit they found a workaround and it just made for a fight.

I do natural consequences and taking the phone for every transgression that has nothing to do with the phone just makes no sense to me. I’ve also never seen it work and seems to make it worse.

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So what consequences do you have instead? Especially for lying, sneaking out of house or sneaking into house to make out at 14? And when that behavior is then posted all over Snapchat?

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Sounds like normal teen behavior - that’s not to say there shouldn’t be a punishment - and being glued to the phone isn’t the actual issue here. I’d just do a normal grounding with quick ability to earn freedoms back - but in the future, after some time has passed, think about whether there are some rule loosening needed. And spot check her phone usage rather than taking it.

In my experience it’s much better to have conversations as to why the behavior isn’t safe - and keep having those conversations. Allow a boy over under your eyes with some rules (making out? This isn’t a big deal, it’s unsafe sex you should worry about)- get to know him and her friends - make sure you have lines of communication open with the other kids parents.

I’ve never, ever, seen taking the phone work as a deterrent. It actually leads to less safe behaviors. They get a burner phone to use snap anyway, they sneak out anyway and then you have no ability to find them and they will NEVER call you when they find themselves in unsafe situations.

A kid with a desire to experiment isn’t easily contained - all the smug kid parents of cautious introvert think it’s their parenting so will give you bad advice but these are different kids.[/quote]

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