Reply to I hate being a mother right now

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh, I’m right there with you. The incredible lack of common sense in the teen years has kept me awake multiple nights.

[b]Remember your job is to let go. You can teach them but it’s up to them to learn and make choices.[/b] [/quote]

NP. Thank you. I needed this today. [/quote]

And, as I like to remind my children, at 13, they have less than 5 years left under my roof. They will always be welcome but [b]my responsibility to feed them, house them and clothe them ends the day they turn 18[/b]. For the next 5 years, they can either absorb all the advice my advanced years can provide them or not. They can work hard and get into college (which I will support). If not, at 18, they need to be prepared to look after themselves.

It was the information my mom gave me when I was a difficult teenager and it set me up to be a responsible adult with a good relationship with my parents. [/quote]

You're one cold-hearted b---ch. [/quote]

You are extremely judgemental a myopic.  What works in one house doesn’t in another.  Just because your house has a different modus operani doesn’t mean everyone else’s is the same.  I guarantee you your house isn’t perfect either!  PP’s approach can be done lovingly and produce happy healthy independent adults - like me.  My parents were a bit like this too and we are still a close family.  All of their children launched into extremely successful independent adults.  Maybe be more open to learning from different approaches?  It might help ease your struggles rather than jump to judgement.[/quote]

Different PP here but I think it is more the attitude than the independence. I was pretty much financially independent by 18 but as independence and responsibility was something instilled in us early on, it was something we wanted - it wasn't that my parents had the attitude of that PP that they will wash their hands of all support at 18. I had been working since 14, had travelled on my own as a teen etc. I was pretty independent by 18 but when my car broke down in my second year of college and I was short on money (I was paying my own way), my parents chipped in and helped with the cost to fix my car. The other aspect for us was that my parents didn't have much money so we knew early on, that we needed to be independent as they could only help us so much. Also, if we needed a place to stay or a meal, their door was always open. [/quote]

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