Reply to I do things for people that they wouldn’t do for me

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Reply to "I do things for people that they wouldn’t do for me"

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[quote=Anonymous]It is hard to give advice without knowing this specific situation. If you are going through a really tough time and no one is there for you, you might need to ask for what you need more explicitly. People can’t read your mind.

Sure, there are givers, and there are takers, but it’s not that black-and-white. As other posters have mentioned, there are phases in life, and in some phases, you are more tuned in and have more time to help others. Of the people you are hoping will support you… did one of them just have a baby, is one of them going through divorce, a health scare, etc.? There are times when even the givers don’t have much of an emotional reserve left to give. Are they generally caring people who seem out of character, or are they generally selfish, self-centered people, so their behavior shouldn’t be a surprise?

If you are surrounded by takers, that’s unfortunate. It might be time to change your perspective, back off from trying to help them, and invest in other friendships and relationships with more like-minded people. I do understand this, I have several relatives who are takers. They have disappointed me time and time again, and although they’re still in my life, they’re not the people I count on.

If you are the type of giver who is also a martyr, invest in some self reflection, and whether your giving is really productive. [/quote]

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