Reply to How do you handle a kid losing/breaking things?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe I just need to give a bigger allowance. Replacing something you broke or lost through carelessness should hurt, but it [b]should not preclude your social life for a month[/b].[/quote]

Why not? [/quote]

DP,

One is because that's a consequence that's way out of proportion to what adults experience.  Adults break and lose things too!

The other is because social lives are really important to kids and teenagers and help them learn and grow.  Disrupting a kid's social life can be hard to undo, and can have long term impact.

I can maybe understand grounding a kid for a month for something intentional that's way outside our values, but it's a pretty harsh punishment for dropping an iPad or leaving your glasses where they'll get stepped on.  [/quote]

If an adult loses or breaks something they have to work to replace it, sometimes working overtime and missing time with friends or family. The  magical fairy doesn’t just swoop in and do it for free. So it’s not out of proportion to what an adult experiences.

There are ways to require repayment without taking away a social life. The kid can still go to Starbucks but can’t get a drink. Or they can choose a free activity instead.

You can require they pay half or even 1/3 the first time it happens. You can also give them the opportunity to do extra chores to make extra money. Or put them on a payment plan and give them half their allowance and teach them about credit cards. 0% financing for 12 months, then they get hit with huge interest payments.[/quote]

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