Reply to third week of kindergarten, and DS has been bullied physically by three classmates

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, the school absolutely has a responsibility to keep your child safe and you are your child's advocate.  You are right to monitor and communicate to the school, and the teacher now needs to keep a closer eye on the boys in the class.

I will say, however, that the accounts of children at this age are pretty unreliable and I agree with 21:11. I think some of the PPs have overreacted and not offered appropriate advice at this stage.  It's entirely possible this was not a one-sided bullying situation- and K boys are physical, constantly pushing, hitting, wrestling.  Remember that you and your child are new in school and are both probably still feeling a bit nervous and uncertain.  He will pick up on your cues.  You don't want to make him feel like a helpless "bullied" victim, but give him tools to assert himself if he doesn't like how someone is touching him or speaking with him.

Remember when your child was learning to walk? The first few times he fell, you gasped and rushed over, certain that he would be devastated.  The child would cry and want to be comforted.  Then one day, when he doesn't realize you are watching, he falls in a similar way and then just picks himself back up again and tries walking.  As a new parent, you start to learn when your child really is hurt and needs your attention and when he needs to be dusted off.  It's a bit similar here - you have to help your child navigate when he needs help and when he needs to be resilient.

Dealing with the social challenges of K is arguably more important developmentally than the academics the kids learn.  You want your child to understand that the adults are there to keep him safe, but you also want to work with him on the skills of making and being a friend.  There are a number of great "friend" books out there you can read to your child to help him talk about his concerns and the interactions with the kids. Role-playing can also be an effective way to help your child learn how to assert himself if he doesn't like how a child is treating him.  Give him phrases to say - like a forceful "No.  I don't like it when you hit me."

If you can, get to know parents and children in the class and volunteer in the classroom or for class events.  It helps to be able to compare notes from other parents in the class and you can observe children first-hand.  If, as a PP mentioned, a child in the class has impulse control or other special needs, you will likely see that behavior yourself.

Hope this helps.  I've been in your shoes and know it's hard.  Good luck.

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