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[quote=Anonymous]Well… my DH also had major anger issues. We tried several therapists and I finally got an individual one as well. This has helped me make peace with the fact that it is most likely an (untreated) condition such as a personality disorder and/or trauma and anxiety. Accepting that I can’t do anymore has helped me move on.

For the logistical stuff, I got a great lawyer to advise me in mediation.

For the kid stuff — you just take it one day at a time and be the best parent you can be. I have two with various special needs.

For the personal/emotional stuff, my therapist has really helped me to reframe what I’m going through. I also meditate and do other spiritual and emotional work. Ultimately there is grieving as clearly no one gets married thinking this will happen or wanting their life to look like this. For me, it’s a lot of accepting that there is a different chapter ahead and this plot twist does not have to be a bad thing. In fact I feel a lot of positive things have come into my life because of this life transition — new people, new projects, a new and more positive outlook. I felt trapped and unhappy in the relationship. It took me a long time to understand that being out will be better than being in. But it’s happening. And I’m excited.

I have strengthened many relationships through the process. It is important to reach out to people and talk with your close friends. Lots of self care, whatever that looks like for you.

I am somewhere I couldn’t have imagined a year ago. And I’m not even completely divorced yet. Yes, I have bad days and sometimes still have moments where I think back to the good days in the past and am angry or upset that this dream I pinned so many hopes on didn’t materialize. Then I realize that this was not the happy marriage and family that I was hoping for, so it’s ok to let it go and see what comes next.

Good luck OP.

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