Reply to Are Therapy and Mindfulness Making Some Kids More Anxious?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Somewhat related - the whole socioemotional wellness and self esteem above all approach. Criticism = “not kind”

Example is my son is practicing his instrument. I tell him it sounds good but he needs to work on two notes which are flat. Or I tell him it needs to sound sweet and gentle and it sounds harsh.

“That’s not KIND mommy!”l You shouldn’t say that.”

It’s not unkind to tell a kid during practice that a C is too sharp. This is new language with the teacher he has this year. She also doesn’t correct spelling or math at all, just checks that it’s complete. I’m worried he’s not going to be able to handle critical and feedback. [/quote]

Omg I feel this. My kid did a sloppy, illegible job on his homework and I rather sternly told him to start over with a fresh piece of paper. Cue the meltdown "My feelings are hurt and you're not being kind".
I felt guilty too! But I decided I'm channeling my inner tiger mom.[/quote]

See, I don’t think making a kid redo something that’s illegible is tiger momming! I also told him he is not the best on his soccer team (because he was bragging and he just started playing) and he said his feelings were hurt and I couldn’t say that. Sheesh. I remember when classmates would just straight up say “You’re dumb” and we and adults would all brush it off because kids do say these little things. I think it’s mean but normal. If it’s happening a lot, sure but one comment I think is not the end of the world and not bullying. [/quote]

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