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[quote=Anonymous]DS who plays u16 soccer has never missed for a family commitment without the ok of the coach. Over the years some have been of the mindset that it’s no issue to attend a rare special event but some have been super strict. We try to get a read and then he asks accordingly. I remember my son’s JV coach was very understanding.  Meanwhile he didn’t dare ask his varsity coach for anything because he punished/retaliated for anyone who missed for any reason at all with the exception of excusing kids for the SAT/COVID/injury. When he was young (9-11) his club coach made sure all the parents knew that grandmas birthday or a family vacation were not excuses. We even had to leave a vacation early because he changed training plans at the last minute and sent a message stressing that it was mandatory. I did regret not pushing back on that demand because he was 11 and it was inappropriate. But we always check the soccer calendar before making our plans. In later years his club coaches have been much more reasonable but we never take advantage. He has missed for illness and sometimes because of a school conflict but we have always avoided trips and social commitments that conflict. He would ask his present coaches for permission if it was a once in a lifetime something like his grandpa’s 90th or his sister’s college graduation but not for a vacation, anything that’s run of the mill or could be scheduled for another time. This means we schedule Mothers Day plans around soccer (yes I hate it!) and he says no to lots of invites.  He made a commitment to his team and that was a choice. [/quote]

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