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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes.

When SFIL who is a pediatrician cornered me and told me that in his ‘clinical opinion’, S had autism even though I informed him that he had had a multidisciplinary evaluation due to a speech delay and his doctors concluded that they did not think he was at that time.

18 years later, S is neurotypical although he did need speech therapy to help with articulation until he was 5.

SFIL has kept his mouth shut ever since.[/quote]

He was just trying to help, PP. I suspected my son had autism when he was a toddler, we had him evaluated several times and every time they diagnosed him with ADHD and learning disorders but were not entirely sure about the autism... until at 17, when doing one last evaluation to get accommodations for college, the psychologist diagnosed him with autism, in addition to the ADHD. Luckily, I had sent him to social skills groups and autism-friendly speech and occupational therapy for years, which is what he needed anyway.

Your SFIL stopped making comments because he saw that in your mind, autism is something to be ashamed of. You shouldn't think like that. It hurts all the families who really do have autism in their families, and who may struggle with taboos that end up impeding diagnosis and treatment for their children. Often the line between autism, speech issues and ADHD is VERY VAGUE (most kids with autism have attention problems and speech delays), so his comment to you is not at all out of left field, and not something to be offended about.

I hope you can remember that next time you see him.

[/quote]

I feel like there was probably more to the interaction than described here, but in general, you bring it up once out of love and then let it go.  My own DS was similar to the PP with a developmental delay.  I had all manner of people who thought they were experts assume he was autistic or insinuate that I was in denial.  It's annoying and insulting when you've been to several, multi-day evaluations, annually, with various specialists who conclude otherwise.

It's even more annoying when you are at a function that is supposed to be fun and have to field unsolicited advice.  It has nothing to do with shame, it's just that the last thing I want to think about on vacation or a birthday party is my son's issues.  Just let us relax and enjoy ourselves.  It would have been more appropriate to wait until after the vacation to voice a concern.  And then, like I said above, you say your piece, and move on.[/quote]

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