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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is this a recent divorce OP? It sounds raw. Everyone reading this can see you made the right choice. I would say the only choice, given his abuse.

I hope you can have some fun times soon with good friends who can remind you of your worth. [/quote]

OP here. We first separated 3 years ago, so it is not new. But I still ask myself this question from time to time because new consequences of divorce pop up all the time. For instance, I’m grappling with the fact that I’ll only have one child, but would’ve wanted more if I had a healthy marriage. Many of my friendships suffered as a result of divorce. My married friends disappeared or became distant. My child and I hardly get invited to family events by friends anymore. I’ve been kicked out of the married club.

I am working to rebuild a new life though. And I remain myself to be thankful that I no longer live in constant anxiety.[/quote]

I feel this.  I also was in an abusive relationship, left, and still struggle with the fallout created by loss of friends and community.  One insidious part of abuse where kids is involved is that as the abused person, you are supposed to hide it from the kids.  That often means hiding it from the people that might know your ex, like people who were friends with both of you, or parents of your kids' friends.  It is extraordinarily isolating.  At times I want to blurt out to people "you remain fine with someone who abused me.  Why?"  I don't do that because "what about the kids."  It's hard to be around anyone who doesn't know the truth.

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