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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you admit he's rude, and that you didn't like him yourself. But you're upset your best friend notices these things? You're in the wrong here. [/quote]

OP here. I don’t think he’s rude. He can be perceived as rude because he is very quiet. He’s the person in a group of people that just silently will chill out as everyone else is talking or just observes the conversation. He’s quite shy unless he’s comfortable with you. [/quote]

DP.  There is a huge difference between being an introvert (crowds aren't energizing, need some solitude to recharge, etc.) and shy (anxiety, discomfort in social settings, etc). My DH is an introvert and would be perfectly fine staying home all the time.  Yet, when we do go out, he easily meets people and can maintain his end of social interactions.  My DH may have to gird himself for a party but few would suspect that he'd prefer not to go at all. Our youngest DS (now 18) is the same as DH and our oldest is 'shy'. A close friend has been married to a man for 20+ years who is shy as is their young adult DS who we've known since ES.  Your BF sounds 'shy', not like an introvert.

I have seen how being 'shy' can be perceived as rude.  As a PP said, active listeners, even if they aren't speaking much, are not perceived as rude.  I think your best friend may not be able to articulate what she's seeing but you should reflect on your BF's behaviors and why people perceive him they way they do.  Unless your best friend really is jealous (have there been other indicators of this or just with your current BF?), your relationship with your BF probably won't stand the test of time, especially if you're an extrovert.  My marriage works beause my DH can engage with people.  Doesn't sound like your BF can and that will take a huge toll over time.[/quote]

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