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Reply to "How to handle parent with severe mental health issue "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She should go to an assisted living facility. Perhaps a guardian can be appointed for her.[/quote] Op - she refuses to do this. And additionally the thing that bothers me most and makes me so resentful is she’s in total denial that she has any of these issues. Totally self obsessed (but physically focused). Has barely ever conceded to get therapy [/quote] This is so common. It’s just part of the illness. After your father is gone, if there’s a crisis, social workers and health care providers will get involved. She will have the right to refuse. And unless she is an imminent danger to herself or others, she can refuse. All you can do is decide your boundaries and call adult protective services if a need arises. [/quote] op - it's to the point where she can't be alone for even one second (dad can barely do anything or she cries and shakes). so my problem is I'm not sure how to be involved in a sort of 'boundaried' way. I find myself feeling super resentful of her lack of resilience and then feeling like an awful person. But truly to me the crux of it must be that the mental illness is not being adequately managed and probably will need to be closely managed forever, rather than her relying on people to sit with her while she panics. [/quote] PP here. I get this. For us, it’s our child and it’s even harder to figure out and maintain boundaries for your own kid. We found that tough love is the only way. In your case when your dad isn’t around and you stand fast in your refusal to engage beyond the point that you are available, you may see her behave differently. But you’ll probably get a lot of pressure and bad behavior until she believes you. I know it’s impossible but you have to try not to think about it and cross the bridge when you come to it since you’ve put into place POAs. And you have to accept that your dad is as much a part of this as your mom. [/quote]
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