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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Thanks to all for responses, really helps with perspective! I think trust has somehow become an issue for me - never has been in the past, but then I’ve never felt like he was distracted/absent in the past, the way he seems to be now. If it were multiple female friends that would feel different, more casual I think. But I brought DH coffee in bed this morning (per usual) and I could swear there was a furtive putting down of the phone and an unusually warm good morning, as if to compensate. I have nothing concrete, no great increase in late night working or anything like that. OTOH there’s also some weird stuff going on with his phone GPS - says he’s at home when I know he’s at work, or vice versa. Never puts him in any other place than home or work, no in transit or running errands. Feel paranoid and hate it. [/quote]

Pay attention OP. This is your lizard brain picking up on something. I tell my DD; never ignore your instincts. It doesn't mean you're exactly right about what's nagging you, but it does mean there's something there. The "there" there is what you'll need to learn.

I don't think women (or people in general) are served by dismissing their concerns on these issues. And I don't think it's paranoia. Marriages go through lots of ups and downs, and truly (never thought I'd feel this way but I do), I don't believe infidelity is always a dealbreaker. But physical affairs start somewhere, usually with an EA, and if you need to head something off at the pass, well, that may be where you're at. Bottom line, it really sucks when people we love let us down, but it happens, and people come back from it. Don't be afraid to explore what's going on with your H. Denial is a lot worse.[/quote]

Wise words…thank you.  Now if I can just get DH to talk rather than stonewall! I suppose at least it means he still values our relationship, that he’s playing it down and trying to keep it under wraps.  But it just feels like there a third person around, sharing pizza night, and I’d like to understand why he seems to need that.  Maybe I need to be more present, more attentive, giving etc. [/quote]

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