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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a sibling who didn't want to do much, but wanted weekly documentation of everything. I have a job, 2 kids, one with special needs, a husband who has had serious health issues. I spent way too many years doing too much for my parents only to have this sibling make too many demands and an unappreciative and glowingly hostile parent. I felt trapped and antidepressants didn't help. I developed a 3rd autoimmune issue and was sick all the time. My therapist basically said I either outsourced or I was going to slowly kill myself.

You know what helped? Sibling can become POA and manage all accounting or they can hire an accountant. I'm out. I knew I was allowed to pay myself, but I didn't want to be judged and I never wanted the job and I had no interest in producing weekly accounting because I am not an accountant. Home will be sold as is, we can pay real estate agent to manage all home improvements or sibling can manage it. I'm out. Hire geriatric expert to manage mom's care and advocate and have aides go to doctor's appointments and advocate would attend appointments that were more serious and not routine. Now I just visit and can put on my best self even when mom is hostile and throwing jabs and then I make an excuse to leave if I cannot distract her and get her back into a nice mood.

It's a ton of money going out which luckily mom has. Sibling hates it. Mom hates it. I have been threatened many times with being disinherited. It was worth it. My health status has improved tremendously and health is true wealth. I have been told by 2 friends I now look like I am aging backward despite no special skin treatments when prior I seemed to be aging at a rapid weight. Speaking of weight, I have lost weight. My kids are happier because I am not burned out all the time. I am back to working in dates with my husband. My family of origin didn't appreciate me before and gave me grief. They resent me now and give me grief, but I got a life back.[/quote]

Your first paragraph was me!! I have permanent health damage from this whole situation. I decided to draw big boundaries around the time I'll spend with any of my family of origin who is causing me major stress with their anxiety, fake illnesses, worries about the end of the world, etc, etc.

My therapist also urged me to get parents into AL, which I did do. So I guess I've taken some steps to get help and that is good. I need to do more, I see!

After reading this, I'm tempted to NOT hire painters and just sell the house as it is. It'll sell no matter what.

OP[/quote]

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