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[quote=Anonymous]It does not sound to me like there is hope for getting better based on your description. Has the medical team talked about comfort care options? I know you said FIL doesn’t share but where was your husband during the ICU stay? Drs will honestly talk to anyone that is in the hospital room. All you need to do is be there in the morning when they round. In the future, use this approach. Visit in the morning and get involved. It sounds like your MIL is really suffering and could benefit from a palliative care consult to help the family to consider what she would want and if keeping her comfortable would be a better option.

Your husband could probably take the same approach in the long term acute care setting. They may not round as much as in the hospital but there is still a Dr coming around to see her, probably in the morning and if he’s there he can ask questions. Unless FIL has explicitly told them not to talk to anyone, most will share if you just say oh I’m xyz’s son.

As to your question, I think since FIL can’t drive it’s ok to say I can’t do ir every day how about I help you two days a week dad and then I can visit mom then?

I personally don’t think you need to cancel the vacation but I do think the family has to get their stuff together and sit down as a group and TALK. There is a lot of understandable denial here but it needs to be addressed [/quote]

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