Reply to Dementia development in father in late 60s

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is your father still drinking? If so there is not much you can do.

If so I'd recommend AlAnon for you.

Can you take Mom out for lunch to get her away for a bit.[/quote]

I think so but I don’t visit often due to his rage outbursts. When I visited around the holidays, there was alcohol in the house.

My mother won’t go anywhere without him. I think she is concerned about leaving him alone.

He does see a doctor but they don’t communicate with me about medical care. They just complain about me and blame me for everything from the price of prescription drugs to inflation.[/quote]

OP I agree with the PP cautioning against too much interference and hope. You're not going to change them at this point. The only thing you can change and control is yourself and your expectations. So therapy for dealing with all their blame and complaints and as an outlet for all your own emotions. Clearly there is history here. I'm glad to hear you already have boundaries in place about not visiting when he is abusive. Stay strong - you are 100% in the right here.

Your mom has been making these decisions all her life and won't change now. If she bleeds herself dry like the giving tree, it is her choice. I like the idea of having groceries sent or handling other parts of her life to make things easier for her. Maybe takeout deliveries once a week? I recently took over bill paying for my mom because my dad has FTP too and she had never handled finances before. I set up online accounts and can handle it all from my house without having to visit. She is happy to have the responsibility off her shoulders.

Good luck OP. [/quote]

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