Reply to Dementia development in father in late 60s

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Get your mom a housekeeper, gardener, grocery delivery, etc.  Make her life easier in every way.

Dad can get on anti-anxiety meds and memory drugs to make sure things don't get worse right away.  The memory drugs will just keep things from progressing for a 1-3 months but it can help.

Find a community they can move to where she can have the life she deserves while your dad can get some help.

Do they have friends?  Does your dad or mom have siblings?  [/quote]

My mother has two friends. Her siblings have died.

My father had a falling out with his brother when his parents died three decades ago and they haven’t spoken since.

But I am grateful for some of the suggestions and thoughts on here from PPs. This is new to me. I haven’t had a relative with noticeable dementia before.[/quote]

I'm going to caution you about some of the suggestions above having been through this. My mother HATED having more people in the house. She had a housekeeper and someone to do landscape stuff, but aides infuriated her which is why daycare helped.

Also, friends and siblings don't want to be involved more than they are. They have their own challenges. It's depressing for them. You cannot ask them to take on caregiver roles even for a few hours unless they offer to help. People have these dreams of a village, but unless the person was incredibly giving and a lot of people feel indebted they aren't going to do more than visit now and then and maybe bring a meal occasionally and that is worthy of gratitude. Villages built through give and take not mostly take.

The find a community they can move to where mom magically makes all these friends and dad gets ideal care is magical thinking. They should have done that years ago so they could build a network while still capable. Even if they can afford this dream place people are not looking to make friends where it is all give and no mutuality. I would suggest instead mom be in a caregiver support group because it is very helpful to bond with people in a similar situation.[/quote]

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