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[quote=Anonymous]I sought out a bad crowd at his age. I couldn’t have articulated this then, but it was my way of searching for something different from the life I’d been handed and that did not resonate. In a world in which so much was prescribed, and proscribed, “bad” kids felt like liberation.

There are other, better ways to get that feeling, of course — but like me, your kid probably doesn’t know how to find them on his own.

Busy is good, but make sure it’s a busy that resonates, and that you are helping him find meaning within the busy-ness. Don’t let the activities become just another thing he has to do that was ultimately someone else’s idea, or bc “this is what smart, good kids do.”

What does he love? What *might* he love? What sorts of things make him feel proud and connected? In my case, I found theater, and I started working with younger kids. These things helped. They made me feel valued, and they helped me find what I valued separate from my parents and the kids I was supposed to be friends with (whom I liked! But they were much more interested in playing the game of school, they colored inside the lines more than I, and I never felt like I fit in).

My recommendation is to take this moment as information. He’s telling you something. He’s telling himself something — something for which he doesn’t yet have the words.  [/quote]

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