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[quote=Anonymous]I think maybe you try a reset with her.  The habit of throughly reading texts like this not just for safety issues (drugs, sex, cheating, drinking…) but for minute details of her social life I would think is creating a barrier.  I would not talk to you either if I thought you were already of lurking over my every word - that feels creepy and like someone I would want to push away. Go out to a special dinner or coffee or something.  Ask her how she feels about your reading her texts beyond just being angry about it.  See if you can come up with a compromise where she knows you have access to check her texts but you agree not to check unless you feel she is in danger and if you do need to check you will just skim for big issues.  (She is old enough she will sort how to hide her texts from you soon anyways so better to not give her a reason to do so.)  Also talk to her about why you have been reading her texts so thoroughly — to keep her safe but also to find out about her life since you feel cut off.  Promise to focus on monitoring her phone for safety and coming to talk to her about her life.  It seems like your slip up where it was obvious to you both how much you have been reading her texts is a good opportunity for a good conversation and for real bonding.[/quote]

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