Reply to Absent minded professor DH and vacation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First of all, stop excusing and enabling your DH's behavior with cutesie names like "absent minded professor". Your DH is overwhelmed, and so are you.

Does your DH have ASD?[/quote]

Op here. No. We are both overwhelmed but that’s life-we have young kids, a house, careers, etc. it’s overwhelming but those parameters are what they are.[/quote]

But you are excusing his behavior, which I reasonably presume is making his behavior spiral down, not get better. You have four kids, did you think it would be easy?

Is he depressed? [/quote]

Op here. We have 3 kids (well, we have 2 but are long term [b]fostering the 6 year old for a sibling who is struggling[/b]).

He’s not depressed.

I hate his behavior and am not excusing it. I’m just completely resigned. I’ve gotten him a medical check up, I’ve gone to therapy (as a couple and individually), I’ve deployed all kids of strategies and techniques for coping with his ADHD/forgetfulness/unreliability. He is who he is and I’ve accepted that I cannot change him or convince him to change. [/quote]

Whose sibling - yours or his? How involved/on board was he with the fostering situation? Has he been like this since your kids were born or did it change when you added the third kid?

Don't get me wrong, what you're doing is an amazing thing, and I hope the sibling and the child appreciate the depth of your love and devotion. I'm just curious if it's your sibling and your husband didn't feel like he had a say in the matter and now he's upset about the family dynamic he's in.

We were asked by a niece (my husband's sister's daughter) to take her in, so I do understand the complexities of that, and I personally didn't feel any less connected to her because she was from my husband's side of the family versus mine, but I don't know if that's a mom thing or not. I could see a man failing to bond with a nephew from his wife's family in some cases. Just pointing that out in case a conversation around that topic is needed.[/quote]

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