Reply to If you were starting out as a new parent all over again, what would you do differently?

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Reply to "If you were starting out as a new parent all over again, what would you do differently?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you mean about being their friend, OP? Can you give us some examples? My kids are 11 and 14 and I imagine we are gong to be tested a lot with this sooner.

Also what negative consequences did grades have? Obviously there are college opportunities but if you have more details to share I'd love to hear them. DH and I are sort of in a disagreement about this right now (I want them to get better grades, he doesn't care as much). [/quote]

OP here- being less strict because I wanted them to like me more. Saying yes to things maybe a lot of moms wouldn't so I could be the "cool mom" (this one is hard for me to admit). Like a sleepover during the week. Staying out later when and being OK with after we had already set a curfew. Things like that.  I think at times, I conflated being a friend to them instead of being the mom in charge with clear concise boundaries. I certainly had them,  at times but wish I had been more consistent.

With regard to grades, another person said pretty much would I would say- they are building a foundation especially from grades 4-8. Its hard and not typical for a lazy student to suddenly get really disciplined with studies. That is to me, where a parent with clear boundaries comes in. By setting reasonable expectations with your child (based upon their ability) their failure to live up to those or surpass them is up to them, but the former would result in consequences.Loss of privileges, being able to go out on a weekend, etc.....I wasn't very consistent with that. My son was a naturally really smart kid but the laziness made the teachers crazy.

So in hindsight I would have been stricter and MUCH more consistent with said boundaries.[/quote]

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