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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Got a note from dc’s teacher that ds (10)  [b]during a PE game, pushed a kid out of his way in a way that ds thought was playful and the other kid did not[/b]. The note from the teacher detailed that the kid went on to have a pretty severe panic attack/ hyperventilated etc/ had to leave the class and they would be looking for ways for dc to make amends and for us to talk to dc about the panic attack the other kid had and the gravity of situation. I said of course and let’s maybe chat quickly if teacher has time.

In the past if I have ever had notes about my kids behavior I’ve always been so so contrite and on board with fixing and I absolutely think that pushing is unacceptable and dc should make amends for this.

I am a little concerned though this time with dc feeling completely responsible for another child’s quite extreme reaction to this event. It’s 100000% my dc’s accountability that he pushed someone and even if he thought funny, it was NOT funny or appropriate for that person and never ok to push.  But  something about giving him the entire burden of responsibility for the kid’s reaction worries me for reasons I can’t articulate. Am I just nuts? It kind of doesn’t matter either way bc I will do the same thing but curious if my feeling has any merit bc I don’t want to be TA
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So if they were playing a game, and if your kid is athletic and/or competitive, I doubt it was a "playful" push. A playful push is when someone makes a joke and in return you jokingly shove them away. A push during a game likely isn't playful, it's probably to try to get at a ball or something. I'm not sure what game they were playing, but I don't think most allowing pushing with your arms - pushing with your body is a different thing. Anyway, just saying it's possible that what your kid did was more than what would normally be allowed, since I'm trying to imagine a situation where there's a push of any kind during a game that's ok.

Having said that, even if you kid did push a kid out of the way while playing a game, that is not something that would normally lead to a panic attack. Your son should be contrite for what he did, and he needs to bear in mind in the future that this other kid is very sensitive, but I do think making your son think that he caused a severe panic attack is a bit much. However, I'm trying to think through what would have happened if instead the other kid had broken an arm after being pushed and falling down. I guess I'd liken it to that so your kid could understand. A panic attack isn't a voluntary reaction, and neither is breaking a bone. Your son should understand that sometimes the consequences of our actions are far more severe than we expect them to be, and that's why we need to be more careful. [/quote]

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