Reply to DH’s career as DCs get older

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. DH is a generally good husband, but his career has been a real sticking point for us. DCs are high school/college age so we are at a high expense time. 10-20K in salary would make a significant difference for us. Even if DH was able to negotiate a raise in his current role I would feel better about this. He is generally an ostrich about finances, and his siblings have similar dynamics with career constraints and leaning on spouses. His parents are wealthy but controlling which I don’t encouraged any of his siblings to be proactive about money.[/quote]

NP. To be blunt, if 10-20 K over a year of income is a "significant difference," it sounds as if your family may be living too close to the line on your savings (including saving for college and retirement) versus your spending. I know. That sounds entitled and wealthy of me. But in this area, frankly, if you are THIS worried about that amount -- another $800 to $1600 a month, or $200 a week more at the low end -- you sound like you're in financial trouble or just not getting good advice on handling/investing/saving the money you both already DO earn. Yes, $200 more a week is the difference between, say, a kid participating in a HS-level extracurricular and maybe getting academic tutoring or saving that much more for college eventually, which is great, but...Are you really thinking less of your DH as a husband and father, over your desired $200 a week?

You sound extremely career- and money-driven, OP. Look at your own upbringing; were you maybe raised with less than others, so you always think your family needs more? Conversely,, were you raised with career- and money-driven parents who earned a lot, and that is your expectation of marriage?

If your DH knew the full extent of your apparent disappointment in him, and LONG-harbored resentment of him -- how do you think he'd feel? I'm betting you've told him to earn more but not really exposed how his earning and career focus makes you think less of him as a person. Is that right?

Check threads here over the years. So many wives who've said they'd rather see their DHs and have their kids see their father (Yes, even HS age kids) than have dad at work late every night. Or taking work calls/emails during what are supposed to be famiily times. Or traveling more for work because that's how they have to chase more money. [/quote]

$10-$20k isn’t likely to get OP much more than $$500-$1k a month or $125-$250 per week. I mean it’s like the cost of paying a house cleaner.

I really don’t get what OP thinks her his and should do if he’s trying but unsuccessful. And I really don’t understand people who don’t get that money doesn’t mean happiness or even security. [/quote]

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