Reply to Bipolar sister, age 57, unmedicated, what can I expect with aging

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Brother in his 70s with non-treated bipolar. History of drug use and other addictive behaviors. Chain smoker.

He does not go into the violent rages he used to when he was young (punching holes in walls, screaming, smashing things in the house, etc.) and is overall much calmer. He is easier to communicate with, since he doesn't fly off the handle so easily. Still VERY sensitive to any kind of criticism, though. That is when you'll typically see the hostility in him surface.

From a practical perspective, he is essentially a teenager in his capabilities. He can maintain his own place to a reasonable degree, but has to be supported financially because his SS does not cover all his expenses. I knew this was going to happen so I budgeted/saved accordingly since I knew I'd have to help him out. Before I did, he spent some time homeless.

It's never easy. But when he's good, he's very good. He is one of the few people in my life who I know loves me unconditionally. If he had the capability and capacity, I'd know he'd do anything for me.

[/quote]

I am the previous poster and I really appreciated this post. It is nice to read that some people have a better experience and the sibling gets calmer with age. Gives me a little hope that somehow things will get better since they got worse. I love that you feel this bond with your brother and you know he loves you unconditionally. My sister is only capable of having any positive emotions toward me when medicated. Unmediated she is obsessed with me and not in a good way and I share nothing about my life.[/quote]

How is she obsessed with you?

I think my sibling is obsessed with me and I never heard anyone else say the same before!

[/quote]

She had to set boundaries with my mother not to share anything with her. She would ask about me in detail when I distanced more. Any good news sent her into a depression. When I tried to be in her life more she flat out blamed me for anything wrong. Keep in mind, she is the older sister, we were never close and her "sibling rivalry" crossed into emotional/psychological abuse and was NOT normal. We never actually had a relationship and any communications I initiated were things like sending a birthday card and wishing her well. Any time she tried to start a fight with me, I changed subject and found a way out. I used to get sucked into the endless dramas and give her empathy, but I finally realized it was enabling and nothing would improve if she didn't get professional help. Before I distanced at family events I would catch her staring at me and watching me and my children in a creepy enough way others commented including my husband. I've had cousins express their discomfort about how she tries to get information about me. I don't mention her or ask about her. I wish her well, but every thing in her life evolves into drama, chaos, blaming, histrionics and RAGE. When medicated she truly is a different person including the obsessiveness-totally gone. She doesn't scare me when medicated.[/quote]

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