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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am very sorry that happened to you.

Do you work?

You aren't even supposed to have sex for 6 weeks, is he aware of that?

5-8 drinks is binge drinking. Who drove home? I would not socialize out with those couples with that kind of hard drinking pattern. I worry that if you don't deal with the trauma feelings you may be vulnerable to drinking yourself since your close support system are drinkers.

You can try to compartmentalize, as you said, but may drink, develop anxiety, an ED, etc. as a means to cope. You can divorce, if financially and logistically able to do so, now or later. You can attempt to process on your own with a therapist and then separately with DH with the help of a counselor with experience with abuse/dv dynamics. Then, you could possibly try to rebuild trust, as you might after an affair. In a sense this is worse because your body will be having a physical trauma reaction too, double whammy.

Has DH seemed controlling or not to listen to you in the past? Does he have a history of abuse/childhood trauma and/or alcoholism in his family? Do you?

This hotline is safe to talk to and may be able to recommend resources. https://www.thehotline.org/

If you are in VA or DC you could try The Women's Center for resources. The DC Rape Crisis Center used to offer free counseling. If in MD, perhaps others may be aware of resources.

That he does not seem all that concerned is not the best sign. [/quote]

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