Reply to Trying to recover from cheating spouse but will never feel the same

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - BTDT, first thing first - get your own therapist who will help you and support you and any decision making you want/need to make regarding your marriage. I too went through marriage counseling, thought it helped, long story short, things went back to the way they were before and I was miserable for many reasons but the biggest was the lack of trust. I divorced, scared to death about my future, self-esteem was killed by my X's affairs, but 5 years later I am happier than I've ever been. Are my kids affected, sure they are, but would they have been affected by if we stayed marriage and were miserable - I think so too. There is life on the other side of divorce. Get your ducks in a row financially before you pull the plug (if you do). Good luck and hugs to you. [/quote]

Thanks so much for this post. Friends have said the same - I will be OK eventually and likely happier. Twenty years is a long time and we have built a life together, so it's extremely scary to think of being on my own, including financially. I sacrificed my career years ago when we started a family and the thought of being on my own financially seems impossible. All of it is so overwhelming, while digesting the level of deceit and betrayal. I guess this, plus fear of how it will impact my kids today is why I've chosen to stay for the time being. But every day I wonder if I'm doing what is best..and I find it increasingly difficult to live with under the same roof.

But kudos to you!! It's great that you were strong and are now very happy - it is inspiring!  [/quote]

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