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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Even "normal" kids benefit from their parents taking parenting classes or getting outside help.

I think your background is making you more reactive to your kids' behaviors. But realizing that both your troubled upbringings may be playing out in your kids will be the first step to getting rid of these "ghosts in the nursery."
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Yes, you’re exactly right. I have ptsd from my dad’s anger. My automatic reaction is shutdown mode. [/quote]

Look into EMDR, OP, it can be very helpful very quickly.

Re: kids, consider Dan Shapiro's class.

I was you and it did get better with the above. Something else that helped, I found a small group/meeting through https://adultchildren.org/ to work through https://adultchildren.org/literature/loving-parent-guidebook/ it's been life changing. You could also work through the book on your own but I found a small regular group, an hour a week, to be really healing and the thoughts of others gave me a lot of insights I otherwise would not have had. A meditation practice has also helped me manage my own reactivity. I used to yell or want to run and hide from the chaos and strong emotions, my heart goes out to you.

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