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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That is why it is called "mental load" of women.  My DH is amazing at work.  But, he is incapable of doing things correctly, on time, completely at home.

So, I make the things happen at home and instruct him to do it. I switch on and off between being a loving wife and a strict manager.  It is ok. Things get done.  I appreciate what he is capable of doing. He is a loving dad and loyal husband, a compassionate human being and his moral compass is on point.

BTW - having 3 kids is a different ballgame so most of your vent is due to having 3 children.  The sane number of children is 2.  Please pass this PSA along.

[/quote]

Op here. I don’t think this is it. It’s not the mental load. I need him to physically be faster, not to remember to buy a birthday gift. We don’t find 3 kids more challenging than 2. [/quote]

He is time blind. It is part of ADHD. My husband has it also. Using phone calendar reminders has been helpful. So has me letting go. If he wants to go to his parents, I just wait and wait and wait. I don’t move faster than him. I don’t care. When he gets ready, I then say “do you want to pack kid 1 while I pack kid 2.” I don’t care if we are hours late for his family. In reality, he has gotten much better over the years plus one kid gets easier. The other one has profound intellectual disability and requires total care. So, I just wait.

For trips I care about, I tell him we need 30 minutes earlier than we really need to leave. And I help one kid pack and pack the other kid.[/quote]

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