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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think most people are somewhat bi, or would be, given the opportunity. I also think people tend to decide what they like over time and what they like changes over time. I would love to see all the identitarian talk (at least in UMC liberal environments) evolve past the stage where it's something to be celebrated and just become something that is. Your seventh grader is not "brave" for being pan. They are twelve. That's it. [/quote]

People tend to use themselves as a template for how other people are. This is why so many bisexual people say most people are “a little bi”. I’ve heard nonbinary people say everyone is a little nonbinary and no one has a binary gender. You’re queer and it’s important to understand that means you can’t make statements like this because you aren’t a template for most humans. Most people are cisgender and heterosexual. This is also why gay men will say bi men are closeted bi and straight women will say that bi women are trying to be edgy or trying to get attention. It’s these straight people using themselves as a template for everyone else.[/quote]

I suppose. It's just that in my own lived experience, it's what I observed. Everyone I knew in college tried on different roles and different relationships. The majority did end up in cis het relationships, (I didn't), but that's also in line with population demographics, or, as you would have it, the percentage of people who are left-handed. (Although being left handed has nothing to do with identity.)

When you remove social stigma from same sex relationships, a lot more people consider them an option. I tend to think some people are more omnivorous than others, but again, I also think what one prefers, how one identifies, and what kinds of people one is attracted to changes over time. Life is long. Your identity and what you prefer in a partner aren't things that you decide at age 12 and stay the same forever--necessarily.

For some they do stay the same. But not all.

And this is one huge reason I'd really love us all to evolve beyond all of these quirky and special labels that all mean queer. [/quote]

Many people are closeted bisexual but trust me, most people are absolutely straight. Even if they experiment and try out sex with a same sex partner, that doesn’t make them bi. They actually have to be into it. They have to be turned on by it. They have to want it. Not just want to experiment.

I’m bi and trans and have been out as bi for over 20 years. I know I can’t use my internal experiences as a template for how others feel about gender or sexuality but at one point in my life I did that sort of reflexively without thinking about it. I literally thought all men struggled with a desire to be women and that they hated their secondary sex characteristics but dealt with it the best they could. The realization that the general population doesn’t actually experience sexuality (or in my case also gender) the way we do can be both shocking and illuminating. It’s human nature to think we are the same as everyone else but we aren’t like them in this way.

I’ve spoken to asexual and aromantic people that were shocked when they found out things like people actually get crushes on celebrities or that people can find someone immediately attractive and get turned on by them. I honestly think it’s part of the queer experience (for many of us) to realize that the general population is literally not like us.

But I do agree many more people are bi than are out but I don’t think it’s the majority.[/quote]

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