Reply to People who "go for the jugular"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I deal with this too often. The part that was the hardest for me was why are people doing this to me? I went to therapy about it. I'm successful, upbeat, petite woman who is attractive. I've ran into multiple women who get incredibly nasty with me. I got punched at a wedding!

Anyways, the best advice I got from therapy was to never argue back with someone who likes to argue. Argumentative people get energy from arguing, so you just can't feed that.  (The advice might be different if you are a good debater, I'm not).

Things I've said that worked:
-Nasty coworker screaming at me over Zoom- "I think we need to take a step back and end this conversation because you've gotten out of control. I don't deserve to be screamed at." And then hang up.
-Nasty relative cursing me out "You have a lot of feelings about this, but I'm not interested in hearing more about this."  
-If it's over email, I just don't respond. [/quote]

OP here. These suggestions are good. I think I've concluded no response is the right thing here, but this helps me to think of how I might disengage in the future if I need to.

It's funny you mention debating because my husband actually said that he thinks the thing that triggered this guy is that I had previously sent the group a small explanation of my opinion on a matter that was up for debate, and I had been very reasoned and clear ("I'm in favor of X approach for three reasons" and then list the reasons in a clear way). He was on the other side of that debate and DH thinks he took this as a personal affront. But I didn't even mention him in that email, I was just stating my opinion as we'd been asked for feedback on something the group was proposing doing, and others weighed in as well. But I think he might have viewed it as shots fired.[/quote]

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