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[quote=Anonymous]My kids always helped out when they were younger (chore charts, everyone pick a chore, no electronics until chores are completed, etc.). They also understood that everyone in the family helps out - no issues getting their buy in! However, as they got older, school and sports commitments became more intense and I fell in the trap of allowing them to make excuses. I would end up doing everything because I didn’t have the stamina to engage in the arguments (single mom who is a teacher…and exhausted). Because they practice 6-7 days a week for their sports, and keep up with their school work, I allowed them to justify why they didn’t have time for chores because of sports/school/work commitments. My younger two are a jr and sr in high school (and oldest graduated college with masters, living on her own - she always did a reasonable amount of daily / weekly chores without too much push back).

The ONLY thing that has worked is me listing out their chores every single day and standing firm with the consequences (taking away phone, not letting them leave the house unless their chores are done).

I do find myself getting annoyed that we had to take it back to elementary school with the chore check list but at this point it’s more important for me to have some help around the house than to stress over what I think I should have to do or not do for them to help out).

My advice is to realize YOU are going to have to be the one who sets and enforces the consequences. It sucks because you likely have 1000 other things in your plate and this is one more thing you have to deal with that shouldn’t even be an issue in the first place but here we are…I had to first stop feeling resentful that they didn’t help willingly help out (they would argue about small chores like emptying the dishwasher, feeding the pets🙄). Second, I had to accept that I need to write out their chores every. single. day. in order for me to actually have help around the house.

It’s only been about six weeks, but this is the most consistent and successful the chore situation has been since they were tweens. My hope is that this will become a habit and I can phase out making daily lists but time will tell.[/quote]

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