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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I was a kid my mom would smack my face for that kind of comment. I learned really quickly.

I'm not advocating hitting a kid and I never hit mine. But like my mother, I required respect. No passes, I don't care what difficult time you are going through, I never allowed my kids to talk to me crazy.  When they tested I immediately addressed the situation. It was a hill I was willing to die on.

OP, she's too old for this.  Correct her every single time, no matter what hard time she's going through, do not give her a pass to disrespect you. 
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Same. We push respect in all interactions… in our family, with others, with animals, etc.

The first time I would explain how the comment came across and say “you may not understand how your words were perceived…” and the second time there would be a consequence. [/quote]

+1 I have two teen DDs, ages 15 and 17. We didn’t tolerate this type of disrespect. I like how PP kept the focus on the word choice and avoided labeling the teen. I do think it matters — your teen herself isn’t rude. She just made a rude comment.

“We don’t talk to each other like that in this family” was something I found myself saying at times. It was a helpful reminder to myself, too, that reminding your teen that rude comments aren’t acceptable doesn’t justify being mean, rude, or disrespectful yourself. Some of the suggested responses here strike me as just mean.

I also wholeheartedly agree that there are consequences if this type of comment is repeated. 
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