Reply to Orphaned niece struggling to have a relationship with Dad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am sorry that your BIL is an idiot who has married an idiot. Bringing in a new wife and kids after 9 months is an inappropriate parenting move and will damage his relationship with his daughter for the long term. I do not think anything can be fixed in the short term, and if your BIL is willing to let his wife draw this line (whatever his wife actually means), then he's a terrible father and a terrible person.

I would invite your niece, be as loving to her as you possibly can, and hope that things improve with time. Lots of time. [/quote]

She is always welcome at our house, we all love her. [/quote]

If you love her, then give her comfort, time, and space. Stop trying to "fix" this. Her relationship with her father is bad because he has made bad choices and she has asserted her boundaries. It is his problem to solve, not yours. And pressuring her will only alienate her from you-- that's a real step backward if you take the long-term view.

As for your BIL, tell him that he is on his own and can reach out to her directly. Ask him why he thinks making threats will result in a nice happy family Thanksgiving. And tell him "This is because you chose to remarry so soon. That was your choice and choices have consequences."[/quote]

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