Reply to Vent about my cruel immature mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother has been cruel to me since I was in elementary school and critical about my appearance, behavior, etc.

I have extremely firm boundaries around my interactions with her, but agreed to a very brief FaceTime session because she was hosting a relative who I rarely see. While the call was connecting, my mom “didn’t realize” I could hear them yet and listed everything bad about my appearance to this relative by saying things like “it’s really obvious, but don’t say anything about how bad her hair or her face looks now” and went on from there before it was obvious that we were connected.

My hair and face are normal and look like that of a 40-something woman who is happy to live 2000 healthy miles away from her mother. My mom giggled in a tee-hee, aren’t we chummy way to the visiting relative. I said to my mom and the relative that I could hear them and my mom acted like a mean tween getting caught by an adult.

I’m seething with how my mom can still make me feel like an unwanted child and how she manipulates relatives into going along with her behavior. It’s insane to me that I’ve grown up and my mom is still the same unevolved parent she was 30 years ago.

I’m a mom. I don’t understand how a mom could ever be amused by being unkind to their own child. [b]What did I do wrong to be treated like this?[/b][/quote]

Failed to go no contact.

I had a horrible mother too. One of the best things I ever did for myself was say "no more." I went no contact and was forever better off. Finally able to exhale. She kept at it -- called my DH (who was my boyfriend at the time) crying, called my boss at work acting all crazy and hysterical (that was humiliating). So you can't expect they'll disappear right away, or go away easily. You need to stand firm. [/quote]

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