Reply to I hate where we live.

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I hate where we live."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is anybody else in this boat? I’m not sure what I’m looking for here…

What do you do if you’re married with kids and hate where you live, but your spouse likes it.

My husband and I have been together for well over a decade. We met in my hometown at college. After graduating we moved here - this put us smack dab in the middle of both of our families, with no support around. I’ve stayed here because I love him, and because pre-COVID he said that we would have to stay here because this was a major hub for his line of work.

We now have 2 kids and a house. And I have, at best, tolerated living here. Most of the time, I’m miserable, unable to wean off anti-depressants because I’m so unhappy and anxious here. I’ve joined clubs, church, gotten involved in my kids’ school - but it’s exhausting to make friends, only to have them move back home after a few years. I miss my family — our major source of help and support. A member of my immediate family has had numerous health issues over the last few years which has only fed into my desire to leave.

Since COVID, many of the jobs in my husband’s sector have gone remote. And they’re not going back to in-office. Since his job was the main factor for us staying, I have now begun begging to move away from here. Except he likes it here. He refuses to move, saying he “can’t wrap his head around it” and that “we had said years ago that we would stay here” even though the condition holding us here no longer exists. When I told him that I hated it here and that I couldn’t see myself weaning from anti-depressants while still living here, he was upset. I love him and my kids so much… but I don’t know how I’m going to keep living in this area with no end in sight.[/quote]

This sounds like it’s more about the depression than hating the place itself, OP. People move away and things change no matter where you live. You may have in mind how things would be if you lived near your family, but it might not actually be that way. You don’t really say what you dislike about this area other than that it’s not where your family is.

How far away is your hometown?

My parents immigrated from another country. They only saw their family and friends once every few years. I’ve moved around a lot due to jobs and schools. My friends and family are scattered all over. I suspect that’s true for many people in this area. I have been pretty happy wherever I’ve lived, I like meeting new people and it doesn’t take much to make me like a place. I know what my purpose is in life and it’s not dependent on being in one particular place. But that may be because of how my parents raised me.

Do you have a job? It sounds like you frame your life choices as “for your husband” and you are blaming him for the fact that you are there instead of taking ownership for your own life. I wonder if this is also the source of your depression, somehow not feeling like you are the one who is making your life. I think this could be addressed via better therapy.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics