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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He probably needs to learn conflict skills in therapy.

Any chance that there is divorce in his family of origin?

I have several guy friends (married to one of them) who are and they all are like this when they are upset about something.

[b]My husband went to therapy with me and the therapist spent all of our sessions teaching him these skills. It helped a lot. He wouldn’t go alone. I’m just glad I got him to go at all.[/b][/quote]

DP, not OP. Glad to read that this kind of "I'm the real victim here" knee-jerk reaction can change, with outside help. Glad your DH did end up going to therapy, too, PP.

OP, heed this PP. Your DH is not likely to see the problem, he's so used to reacting this way. You need to do what this PP did and get him to go to therapy together. You need a therapist to, as PP puts it, "teach him these skills." The bad reactions can be unlearned and positive communications can be learned but it takes work.

PP, how did you get your DH to go to therapy with you? How did you get him, or how did the therapist get him, actually to listen, participate and do the work, instead of just sitting there stewing or not seeing the issue? So many wives on DCUM say over and over, "He'll never go to therapy, never. He sees it as weak, etc." How did you persuade your DH to go in the first place? That could be helpful to a lot of women here. [/quote]

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