Reply to Disabled spouse needs in home care but keeps firing aides

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm so sorry, OP. I have a mother who is quite disabled now, but her neurodegenerative disorder was progressive and my father was able to retire before she needed extensive care. So he does everything, which is not ideal, because she does not want to hear about hiring someone, and he's getting old and confused and irritable, and there will come a time when he won't be able to care for her. It's like watching a slow train wreck.

I think you should:
1. Read your husband the riot act and tell him he has to suck it up, or else you will just go to work and not come back all day. 
2. Tell him maybe he needs a mood stabilizer.
3. Tell him he may benefit from a rotating cast of aides, so if something happens to one, there's always someone else, and he won't tire of seeing the same person every day. My MIL has this arrangement: each person comes every two days or something, and they have some flexibility to cover each other's absences.

He's got it really hard, I know, but it doesn't mean he can just take you for granted.[/quote]

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