Reply to If your sibling doesn’t help with parents, how’s your relationship?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Well first, you speak these exact words, "I have flown down five times in the past six months - spent 20+ days away from my family. You have been there twice for two days each."

And I would put it in writing. In an email to him and cc the wife.

Aside from very direct, factual frustration that you express, keep other aspects cordial.

Who will do the executor duties? Was that said? Does he have a duty in some other role? Are you going to get reimbursed for travel costs? You could explore that.[/quote]

Plus, don’t cancel your trip. When your sibling sees that you are not canceling your trip, which to any rational person is more important than some kid soccer game he may step up. But if he doesn’t step up in this circumstance, then everybody knows where they stand very, very clearly. [/quote]

Agree here. As much as it may be hard to do this, you need to keep this trip for your own respite from caregiving. [b]And perhaps get more frank about reimbursement for what you are doing, at least to cover your expenses.[/b]

It is not always the daughter who steps in but it often is. Some men just don't see themselves as caregivers as they were raised to not do that work. But that doesn't make it right or acceptable now. [/quote]

The reimbursement needs to come from the parents not from the sibling.   Neither the sibling nor pp have an obligation to care for their parents.   If pp WANTS to, that's fine.   But her sibling is not OBLIGATED to.[/quote]

Sorry that wasn’t clear - be more frank with her parent that she needs assistance with the travel expenses. I don’t think they should ask the sibling and I also don’t think the sibling should shoulder all of the caregiving expenses. [/quote]

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