Reply to If your sibling doesn’t help with parents, how’s your relationship?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP- have you told the sibling you'd appreciate more visits or more support?  Or are you suffering silently?[/quote]

Yes. I have begged him to visit because I have to hear my mother cry that she hasn’t seen him or her two grandkids in 5 years. He could easily take a 7 am flight here, gets in at 8, go through airport and be where his mother lives latest by 9. Take her to brunch, hang out and take flight back at 3. He would be home by 5 at the latest. I really don’t think that is too much to do every year. [/quote]

Is it possible that their parent-child relationship wasn't very good and he doesn't say it but also doesn't feel a strong bond with her?

Is it possible there are medical, financial or marital issues which he doesn't want to share with y'all.

[/quote]

That’s not what this post is about. [b]Plenty of people have sucky relationships with their parents and unfortunately one kid often gets sucked into taking care of their parent.[/b] Plenty of of people have financial difficulties yet such it up and see their parent once a year if a sibling is doing all the heavy lifting. At this point I have come to the realization he is just a selfish horrid person.

This post isn’t for coming up with excuses for the absent sibling. I am interested in knowing if you are the sibling who is doing everything of you still maintain a relationship  with absent sibling. [/quote]

So you are acknowledging that your parents were "sucky" to your sibling, yet you think your sibling should be bending over backwards to help them now?
If you don't want to help your parent anymore, don't.  Just stop.  Your sibling can make his own choices.   The only "selfish horrid person" here is YOU, for thinking you can demand what your sibling does with his time and money.[/quote]

You need better reading comprehension. No where did I post our particular parents were sucky. I said that’s not an excuse. The absent sibling was favored. I who was the least favorite yet somehow  got sucked into helping aging parent.

If every elder care giver quit taking care of their parent or relative I don’t think society could function. Ethically and logistically everyone  can’t tap out and throw in the towel unless there was assisted death for elderly with dementia and other issues. [/quote]

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