Reply to How do people do this: caregiving, kids, jobs, etc

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree with those who say you’re doing a great, even heroic job and need to emotionally detach. Decide the amount of time you are willing to give, give that as a gift, and do not feel any guilt or pressure at all to give more. Put your kids and your own life first and if those are suffering do less for the relative and more for yourself.

I know it’s sad and stressful. It’s hard when someone seems so helpless and fragile and is so unhappy. One thing that I keep reminding myself that the elderly ones I am caring for now ** made their own choices ** that put them in this situation of being so isolated and alone. I feel sorry for them but I cannot solve their existential need for meaning because everyone must do that work themselves. What’s more, these people are, within the limits of their age and reduced capacity, *continuing* to make choices that seem unwise to me. For example, I’m going to try to get my mother into therapy and I know she will not agree to do it. Horses, water, etc. etc. Don’t work harder to solve their problems than they are.
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