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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
Reply to "Massive long tantrum yesterday"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it really sucks that you can’t trust your husband to keep his sh!t together, but you can’t. So give up on him. [b]Stop trying to “solve” whatever your toddler is complaining about. He actually WANTS you to hold on to reality. “Those pants and fine and those are the pants we’re wearing.” Repeat a few times and then just ignore. [/b] You need a safe room in your house where you can just ride it out. If he hits you, hold his hands gently but firmly and say “I won’t let you hit me.” [/quote] Agree with this. Sometimes just being very clear and decisive during a tantrum is really comforting to kids this age. Don't give them choices when they are in this state. Just tell them clearly how it's going to go and then do it. "We're going to put these pants back on so you don't freeze, and then you and I are going to walk around the block to get our blood pumping. We're going to hold hands all the way except when we get back to our block, you get to run as hard as you can until you get back to our house, and doing that is going to make you feel better, I promise. Let's go." They feel out of control and it is really comforting to them to just be told what to do in a firm but gentle and loving way. Also, my kid hates being told to take a deep breath but at that age I could pick her up and hold her and if I did deep breathing, she'd just automatically start doing it too. So if he'll let you pick him up and hold him close without hitting you or harming you, I'd try doing that and then focus on regulating your own body through breathing. You can also do this thing where you squeeze him very tight for the inhale, and then loosen your grip for the exhale, which is soothing and can help him get into a rhythm that feels slowed and calm.[/quote]
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