Reply to How often do you check your teen’s phone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t ever check my 15 year old’s phone.  I stopped before high school.  He’s pretty open about things and I know a lot of friends are drinking, doing drugs and even driving without a license. I know some of their parents know but I know my kid has also tried drugs and alcohol.  We are trying to keep the lines of communication open and think that’s more effective than checking phones.  I can’t keep up with what apps they use to communicate.  They aren’t texting.

As for the other stuff, we stopped allowing sleepovers many years ago.  We sleep with our car keys in our bedroom.  I don’t think he’s leaving in the night since I’m the lighter sleeper in the house.  [/quote]

Your kid is only 15 and has already tried alcohol and drugs and you don’t look at his phone ever? You don’t think he is sneaking out but you aren’t even sure? What about girls, sex, bullying, harassment, or getting in cars with drinkers, etc…  You think a 15yr old boy tells the truth to his parents. He told you every time he tried things or made mistakes. His friends are the bad ones but he isn’t?  Come on!!!

[/quote]

Why are you assuming her son is a huge lying ahole? My 15 yr old tells me tons of stuff, AND I check their phone frequently - and pretty much to the letter, they tell me about what is going on. Not all kids are sneaky, lying jerks.

The poster is keeping communication open & taking measures to prevent bad situations (no sleepovers, keeping car keys safe, listening for sneaking out). If you are not tech savvy, that’s a better solution than checking their phones - like they said, you may check texts but not see what they are doing on discord, so it doesn’t give you a full picture. And on top of that, they leave the house every day & you don’t know what they are doing in person.

Checking the phone is one line of defense, I totally agree & do it myself - but keeping communication lines open is 100% the most helpful way to help them.

And yes, many sophomores have tried drinking & vaping. You being shocked by this may mean you are out of touch with what your teenager is doing.  Trying it doesn’t mean they are doing it every weekend. My kid is pretty tame & nerdy but yea, a friend’s older sibling has offered them alcohol. HS is when this all happens - trying alcohol, vaping, drugs, sex, etc. Some as a freshman, some as a senior, but you are putting your head in the sand if you think your high schooler has never been offered or tried anything. [/quote]

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