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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I genuinely can't wait to employ these kids in the labor force when they're done with college.

Boss: We're going to need to submit the purchase order to the market by 4 pm today.

New Employee: Ok (realizing that there are no real issues with waiting to do this until 4 weeks after the due date)

... 8 weeks later.

Boss: Wow! That transaction really made our quarter. The stock is up 150% since we purchased.

New Employee: Well, I waited until 4 weeks later to purchase it, so our basis cost was actually $45 / share - not $20.

Boss: You're Fired

Ex - New Employee: That's ok. I have to remain on your medical plan for 6 months; you must pay me a healthy severance, and I have a trip planned to Punta Cana next week anyway.

Boss: How do I file for bakruptcy?[/quote]

Boss: I need this done by 4pm today. I'm not going to do anything with it until tomorrow morning, but I still need it this afternoon.

Kid, at 4:05: Shoot! I've been working hard all afternoon and got a little behind. Since I'm late, I guess it's not worth doing.

Boss: Your written report was fine, but needs these changes.

Kid: Nope, I did my best the first time and there are no retakes.[/quote]

Boss: I need this done by 4pm today. I’ll be taking the report home and I’ll have feedback for you by tomorrow morning.

Kid, at 4:05: Shoot, I forgot to turn it in. I meant to get it done, but I was distracted by the vending machine and the video on my friend’s phone. Can I do a really quick and cruddy job on it and turn it in? This won’t affect my performance review or my coming promotion at all, right?

Boss: Well, it may be mentioned in that performance review. It won’t be on time, and by your own admission it isn’t very good work.

Kid: Since when did that matter? I know YOUR boss is just going to make you rewrite  any bad review anyway. You’ll have to make me look amazing. You know what? That report doesn’t really matter at all. I’ll just get it to you when I feel like it.[/quote]

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